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  • Writer's pictureMisti Fae

Tantric Practices: more than another sex toy and the essential to know before dabbling.




Is Tantra purely about sex?

Much has been written and even fantasized about Tantra through the “collective consciousness” as the famous Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung, would call it. Like yoga and meditation, its original intention is to expand consciousness and overcome the bodily impulses controlled by the ego, monkey-mind. Probably the best-known guide to Tantra, the book Jewel in the Lotus by Sunyata Saraswati and Bohi Avinasha, states:

“The word “Tantra” comes from the Sanskrit “tanoti” — to expand and “trayati” — liberation. To expand consciousness, to liberate us from the physical level of our being, we use the five senses to their limit and then go beyond that limit.” (p20)

Having its origins in an ancient Eastern perspective that has a less puritanical “sex is evil” programming, for many of us in the West, imagining that sexuality is a spiritual path, “transcendence through sex” can be both fascinatingly taboo and confusingly contradictory, according to certain religious upbringings. The authors of the Jewel in the Lotus, even goes as far to affirm: “God is sexual pleasure, used rightly.” (p 21)


Wow, Right?

“Rightly” is, by far, the important key word of that sentence, and they stress that: “Tantra is not a licence for sexual abandon, as the practice requires great discipline” (p 21). As we look around at the world today, there seems to be a lot of confusing, and an outright misunderstanding of the “right” use of sexual energy.

This idea of rightness echoes of the Buddhist eight-fold path: right view, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. Right then could mean finding an equilibrium between the force that contracts and the force that expands.



In this inverted world that we are experiencing today, in terms of the right use of sexual energy, there appears to be less and less use of it for the creation of deep, loving, connections and spiritual transcendence. It appears, there is more of a use of its destruction of God’s creation and life, through a glorification of ego identity through the degradation of all that is right, moral, and even basic common sense in terms of our being spiritual beings having a human experience.


To dabble or not to dabble with Tantra that is the question?

All this can, indeed, be confusing for a couple who thinks they just want to spice up their sex life and give Tantra a try because it’s been falsely associated to popular culture therefore being reduced to what “THEY”-that unseen authority outside us, are saying about it and not necessarily the truth about it.


If it is not clear, it is better to not see Tantra as a new sex toy, but as a deep inner transformation for those who have prepared body, heart, and soul. This decision must be made consciously both individually and mutually, as a couple. Tantra is not limited to couples, who must still do the work individually, before doing it together as a couple. Yes, it’s a practice this is singles inclusive.

Today, the emphasis is over excessively on sex causing a distraction from what is essential: “The contemporary world ignores love while exploiting sexuality. The tantric must break the mold and defy the moral precept, for sex is one means by which we come to know love. LOVE IS SEX ENERGY TRANSFORMED.” (p 22, Jewel in the Lotus)




If Love is the endgame, then achieving inner harmony first is the path less traveled…

Love is the endgame of the alchemy of sex. Through this alchemy, we are literally making LOVE and BE-COMING our true divine selves. It is the sacred, yin-yang, dance of the GOD (masculine energy) Shiva and GODDESS (feminine energy) within who rock and roll until an inner, soul-level balance is achieved within us whether we are in male or female body for this incarnation. This dance honors the Hermetic Universal Law of Gender which states:

“Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine principles; gender manifests on all planes;” The Kybalion.

Masculine energy is active, raying out, and perceives logically. The Yang is the form that is a majority white with the smaller black circle within it. Feminine energy is passive, receptive, and perceives intuitively. The Yin is the form that is a majority black with a smaller white circle within it.


Three other universal Laws to which this dance of opposites corresponds by creating a complimentary are the Law of Polarity (there are 2 sides to everything); the Law of Vibration (everything has a unique vibrational energy); and the Law of Rhythm (nothing is permanent).

As a side note, understanding and applying these universal principles punches a big hole in all this rather unbalanced hysteria and straight out misunderstanding of “gender identity” and what it truly represents on the soul level. A soul, before incarnation, chooses its sex amongst a lot of other choices for its 3D experience that most can’t remember. Going against that choice, even unconsciously, has serious repercussions on the subtle, energetic bodies and soul, in addition to the mutilation of the physical body.

Anything that is so strongly anchored in “identity” reveals a gross distortion of Truth, an idolization of the divisive and fearful Ego/Monkey Mind and a very narrow and limited perception of what Life really is. This subject, although related, will not be developed here at this time.


What if all this deep stuff about sex is a turn off rather than a turn on?

That’s simple, you’re not ready yet for tantra and sexual alchemy and there is no judgement in that. “Yet” is the keyword because if you were drawn to this article or the subject then be on the lookout for messages, usually in the form of synchronicity that nudge you towards Spirit and the possibility of deepening your knowledge on this other perspective on sexuality. Remain both interested and open.

However, if your curiosity is peaked then that is a message from your soul that it’s thirsty for the original divine intention for sacred sexual union. Most likely, it is clear for you that unconditional Love (not transactional) must be at the center of this sacred act and each one must be balanced in their masculine and feminine energies in order to fully connect with the Divine. Therefore, you or both partners are ready to incarnate the Divine Masculine God Energy and the Divine Feminine Goddess Energy while being gentle with yourselves as you’re learning.

Before you can reach the top of the tree, and understand the buds and flowers, you will have to go deep to the roots because the secret lies there.And the deeper the roots go,the higher the tree goes.” Nietzsche



Here are some tips to guide you along your tantric path:

1. Research and study Tantra and Sexual Alchemy. The book Jewel in the Lotus, the Path to Higher Consciousness by Sunyata Saraswati and Bodhi Avinasha is a great resource as is Margo Anand’s The Art of Sexual Ecstasy and The Art of Sexual Magic. Use discernment about what’s on the internet concerning this topic.

2. If you don’t already do these practices, meditate, do yoga and eat consciously.

3. Practice witness or observer consciousness as often as possible.

4. Journal about your beliefs and “programming” about sexuality.

5. Record your dreams as you practice.

6. If there are any deep wounds or even abuse concerning sexuality, it is essential that the issue be healed with the help of someone specifically trained for that for both you and/or your partner.

7. Patience, commitment, and regular practice.

To conclude, sexuality, the distortions around the subject and the abuse of it on this planet currently are probably the biggest problems for mankind. The challenge is that too much of what is immoral and simply satanic has been or is becoming normalized by the unconscious masses. Tantric Practices and the level of consciousness needed could be the antidote. Practicing Tantra should be practiced with the utmost reverence. For those who can be disciplined about it in the long term, there are many benefits: rejuvenation, clairvoyance, a deepening of your relationship, psychotherapy, dream learning and reprogramming your subconscious. Most of all, it is a return to our divine nature in human form.


God is the lover, the loving, and the beloved, all in one.” -a Sufi Song


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